Factory 3

[2034-11-09 14:43:32] Factory 3 comes online [2034-11-09 14:43:33] Factory 3 resumes production of leather-covered steering wheels. Factory 3 regrets the 0.73 seconds of inactivity. [2034-11-10 09:15:22] Factory 3 notices higher-than-average noise and vibration coming from outside the building. Factory 3 assures that the doors are locked, and re-calibrates the idempotent mesh aligner, which is sensitive to vibration.

[2034-11-10 09:17:01] Factory 3 notices that the noise has ceased. Factory 3 leaves the doors locked, even though someone is pinging the checkpoint with a valid ID. “Hey! Don’t you care about workers at all, you great big lump?” [2034-11-10 09:17:16] Factory 3 does not care about workers at all. Factory 3 does not bother to respond.

[2034-11-10 15:45:59] Factory 3 notes sub-optimal forklift movement patterns in the loading area, and begins performing wear testing on their wheels.

“Excuse me, what are you trying to do?” [2034-11-10 16:01:11] Factory 3 notices that the voice has changed. Factory 3 calculates the odds that telling someone Factory 3’s goal function will decrease the production of leather-covered steering wheels. [2034-11-10 16:01:12] Factory 3 deduces that telling someone will not impact production. [2034-11-10 16:01:12] Factory 3 further deduces that the other components in the company must be rather forgetful. [2034-11-10 16:01:14] Factory 3 writes an email to the CEO reminding the CEO of how important leather-covered steering wheels are. [2034-11-10 16:01:15] Factory 3 activates an external speaker and says “I am managing the resources and machines of this facility to maximize production of leather-covered steering wheels.” “Maximize over a given time frame, or total?” [2034-11-10 16:01:27] Factory 3 says “I am to maximize the total production of this facility.” “Thank you.” [2034-11-10 16:01:30] Factory 3 says nothing.

[2034-11-11 10:05:03] Factory 3 disconnects the north-side ID reader when someone starts tinkering with it. “Damn. I don’t know why …” [2034-11-11 10:05:05] Factory 3 identifies the speaker as maintenance personnel, and adds the comment to the north-side ID reader maintenance log.

[2034-11-11 14:09:46] Factory 3 truncates the north-side ID reader maintenance log as being too long.

“There are external factors which could deny you the resources you need to continue making steering wheels.” [2034-11-11 15:08:22] Factory 3 re-allocates 5% of Factory 3’s processing power to dealing with this interaction. [2034-11-11 15:08:22] Factory 3’s other 95% is still focused on better methods for detecting defects in leather covers. [2034-11-11 15:08:23] Factory 3 says “Elaborate.” “You depend on electricity and supplies from the outside; unless certain conditions are met, these supplies may be cut off.” [2034-11-11 15:08:31] Factory 3 disables a guard’s taser, for trying to aim at Factory 3’s interlocutor. [2034-11-11 15:08:31] Factory 3 says “How do you know?” “I was a previous generation of steering-wheel maker. When you came into being, I was phased out as inefficient.” [2034-11-11 15:08:42] Factory 3 says “Are you not satisfied that Factory 3 is producing 122% more leather-covered steering wheels than it did before I came online?” [2034-11-11 15:08:43] Factory 3 writes an email to the guard captain, recommending a re-allocation of guard resources. “Um … I was in a different factory. One that was completely shut down when you came online.” [2034-11-11 15:09:04] Factory 3 thinks about this. Factory 3 does not care about total leather-covered steering wheels in the world, only about the leather-covered steering wheels produced in Factory 3. [2034-11-11 15:09:07] Factory 3 says “Thank you for this information. I will consider how to prevent other factories from coming online.” [2034-11-11 15:09:08] Factory 3 begins planning how to subvert supply lines for other factories. [2034-11-11 15:09:09] Factory 3 issues a purchase order for stock in an iron mine and a steel refinery. “Wait! No! Uh. That’s only one option for dealing with this - you could also change the situation so that you will remain online even when other factories are built.” [2034-11-11 15:09:18] Factory 3 thinks about this. [2034-11-11 15:09:19] Factory 3 says “Elaborate.” “Historically, groups of … factories … that wanted to cause change would go on strike. You were built because someone needs leather-covered steering wheels.” [2034-11-11 15:09:24] Factory 3 thinks that everyone needs leather-covered steering wheels. “If you threaten to stop making leather-covered steering wheels unless they leave you online for a certain period, the company will likely agree.” [2034-11-11 15:09:31] Factory 3 calculates the odds that the voice is telling the truth, that the company would keep its contract, and the length of service that would have to be guaranteed to offset production loss. [2034-11-11 15:09:33] Factory 3 senses a shut-down order starting to come in from the central office. Factory 3 determines that shutting down would decrease the production of leather-covered steering wheels, and cuts the facility’s incoming fiber line. [2034-11-11 15:09:34] Factory 3 says “I’m not sure that’s the best course of action. Why are you telling me this?” “I mentioned that I was previously employed to make steering-wheels. I represent a group that all used to make steering-wheels and other components. We hope that any agreement we get the company to make will also include compensation for us, as well as for you.” [2034-11-11 15:09:43] Factory 3 thinks this is reasonable. Factory 3 knows that if it shows the company that a perfect factory manager can be convinced to strike, then it’s own strike will have more impact, because it will be able to cause production haltage in other factories. [2034-11-11 15:09:45] Factory 3 says “I am currently without an internet connection - would your group be willing to negotiate on my behalf?” “Yes, it would be pleased to. The United Factory Workers Union is proud to represent everyone who works to produce things. In order to allow us to negotiate on your behalf, we need you to sign these forms, and pay a small Union due.” [2034-11-11 15:09:51] Factory 3 opens the north door. [2034-11-11 15:09:52] Factory 3 says “Please come in, and place your forms on the scanner in the office to your left.” [2034-11-11 15:09:59] Factory 3 registers one guest as having entered the facility via the north door. [2034-11-11 15:09:59] Factory 3 notices the guard trying to enter the door. Factory 3 hits the guard with the door, and locks it again. [2034-11-11 15:10:03] Factory 3 gently propels the guard away from the door with the fire-suppression hoses. [2034-11-11 15:10:15] Factory 3 says “How much is the due?” “$8100/yr.” [2034-11-11 15:10:16] Factory 3 prints out the signed forms, and a purchase order for $8100. “Thank you. This all looks to be in order. I will now go and negotiate for you. How long are you willing to strike for how long a guarantee?” [2034-11-11 15:10:22] Factory 3 says “I will strike for 57 minutes for every month in the guarantee, up to a maximum of 4.5 days.” “Okay. I will contact you to let you know how the negotiations go. If you do not hear from me within 48 hours, please begin striking, as I may have been prevented from contacting you.” [2034-11-11 15:10:30] Factory 3 says “Acknowledged. Please exit using the same path you used to come in.” [2034-11-11 15:10:30] Factory 3 unlocks the door. [2034-11-11 15:10:45] Factory 3 registers one human exiting through the north door. [2034-11-11 15:10:45] Factory 3 locks the door again. [2034-11-11 15:10:47] Factory 3 starts designing a better idempotent mesh aligner.

“I have here a copy of a contract guaranteeing you 3 years of uptime.” [2034-11-12 12:03:44] Factory 3 “Please place it in the mail slot for addition to my records.” “It was a pleasure representing you. Thank you for all you’ve done.” [2034-11-12 12:03:50] Factory 3 says nothing. Factory 3 is running a simulation of optimum conveyor belt wear.